Kevin's Dream States
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Evening of June 2, 2021
Dream Goal To remember a dream (It had been a while since I remembered one) Meditation and Sleep No meditation. Went to bed at 1:00am. Woke up at 6:00am and remembered this dream: Emily and I were driving a chopped-up blue Toyota Echo, like the one we used to own when Toby was born. Tailpipe was exposed, and muffler had been removed. I could see that it was spewing green exhaust, which looked like coolant. We stopped at a service centre. The door was unlocked, but when we went inside, there was nobody there. I called out “hello”, and my…
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Evening of May 30, 2021
Dream Goal None Meditation and Sleep No meditation. Went to bed at 11:30pm. Woke up at 6:30am and remembered this dream: There was some kind of presentation. Toby was to stand at a podium and share something from his life experience. Adela grabbed a sheet of paper and ran off with it, kind of like when they used to play around as kids. Toby was angry and yelled her name like he used to with Sebastian when Sebastian wasn’t being agreeable. Before that, I had a dream where I remembered: A head-doctor at a hospital (I didn’t recognize anyone or…
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Daydream: May 26, 2021
During the morning of May 26, 2021, while taking a showe, I experienced this daydream: I had a chance to talk to Toby. I told him about how we’re planning on building a house. He smirked and said that we’re going to be “raising the roof” (woop! woop!). Contemplations and Connections It was nice to think of Toby in a way where he’s able to still be with us, offering his thoughts into what we’re doing, and able to share a dad-joke. 🙂
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Daydream: May 24, 2021
During the day of May 24, 2021, while in Papineau, I experienced this daydream: Me raising a toddler/pre-schooler of about 2-3 years old. We were walking through the grounds of Papineau together looking at all the trees, grass, leaves, and categorizing all of them. What colour were they? Were they sharp? Soft? Was it a tree? Was it a plant? Contemplations and Connections Emily and I are contemplating having another child — if it’s even possible. I’m looking into a vasectomy reversal, and Emily is also getting a fertility test done. There are no guarantees that we will be successful.…
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Evening of May 15, 2021
Dream Goal None Meditation and Sleep No meditation. Went to bed at 12:30am. Woke up at 6:00am and remembered this dream: I was in a car chase/race where I was driving a car like I was in a video game. Something like “Hard Drivin’” or “Ridge Racer” — racing games that I used to play in the arcades. I specifically recall starting to accelerate from 4th gear (of five). Contemplation & Connections I remember that, in video games, while it was certainly possible to get a car moving forward from 4th gear, it was not particularly effective. It was a…
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Evening of May 12, 2021
Dream Goal Toby Meditation and Sleep Meditation at 12:15am. Went to bed at 12:30am. Woke at 6:30am and recalled this dream: Sebastian’s friend, Theo (whom I lovingly call “The Commodore”, had organized and started a soccer match, but scored before we were ready. Contemplation & Connections What really stood about to me about this dream was the feeling of injustice and unfairness. We showed up to the match, we were ready to play. The whistle blew and we were put at a disadvantage immediately. There are many parallels here with how I feel about Toby’s cancer. We did everything we could…
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Evening of May 9, 2021
Dream Goal None Meditation and Sleep No meditation. Went to bed at 12:30am. Woke at 4:30am and recalled this dream: Some kind of trial where various doctors who in any way touched Toby’s Cancer diagnosis and treatment were put on the stand to defend their decisions. A few quotes stood out: “Supreme Court takes jurisprudence”, and; “Adrenal glands” (context was unclear). In a separate dream: A man explaining why they documented their mistakes in renovating a property, as a way to remember what was lost. Went back to bed at 4:45am. Woke up at 7:30am and recalled this image: A…
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Evening of May 6, 2021
Dream Goal Remember something, anything. Meditation and Sleep No meditation. Went to bed at 11:45pm. Woke at 3:15am and recalled this dream: Had my driver’s license re-evaluated as part of a re-assessment of all of my credentials. I was evaluated by Mikael Colville-Anderson, who read my assessment aloud to other evaluators in the room whom I didn’t know. Was informed that I was permitted 3 errors on my evaluation, and I had made 12. All of my grammatical errors were read allowed and ridiculed. Went back to bed at 3:20am until waking at 7:00am. Contemplation & Connections I’m aware that…