Dream Goal
None
Meditation and Sleep
No meditation. Went to bed at 12:30am. Woke up at 6:00am and remembered this dream:
I was in a car chase/race where I was driving a car like I was in a video game. Something like “Hard Drivin’” or “Ridge Racer” — racing games that I used to play in the arcades. I specifically recall starting to accelerate from 4th gear (of five).
Contemplation & Connections
I remember that, in video games, while it was certainly possible to get a car moving forward from 4th gear, it was not particularly effective. It was a slow slog. But eventually, you would get up to speed. I kind of feel like that’s where I am in life right now. Toby’s death has brought everything else in life to a crashing halt. Trying to find my footing again in life feels like starting in 4th gear. Moving slowly forward, feeling like I’m not getting anywhere (at first). I can only hope that, eventually, I’ll be able to get back up to speed.
Toby: I had no idea how much you inspired me on a daily basis until you were gone. I miss you so much.
I love you 10,000.