Dream Goal
To remember a dream (It had been a while since I remembered one)
Meditation and Sleep
No meditation. Went to bed at 1:00am. Woke up at 6:00am and remembered this dream:
Emily and I were driving a chopped-up blue Toyota Echo, like the one we used to own when Toby was born. Tailpipe was exposed, and muffler had been removed. I could see that it was spewing green exhaust, which looked like coolant.
We stopped at a service centre. The door was unlocked, but when we went inside, there was nobody there. I called out “hello”, and my voice triggered an alarm.
I had to explain to the police what I was doing there.
Contemplations and Connections
I seem to have ongoing issues with:
- Things not working at intended.
- People we trust failing to serve their purpose.
- Having to explain myself to people and relive trauma
For example:
- A car, which I had been in a collision with, poisoning us.
(I’ve been having concerns that small particulate matter from cars might have contributed to Toby’s cancer). - A storeowner not doing their diligence to keep their store safe.
(Like doctors failing to discover Toby’s cancer to keep him safe) - Having to describe to the police (and relive) a scary situation.
(Like having to explain to my kids teachers repeatedly what happened to their sibling)