Dream Goal
None
Meditation and Sleep
No meditation. Went to bed at 12:30am. Woke at 4:30am and recalled this dream:
- Some kind of trial where various doctors who in any way touched Toby’s Cancer diagnosis and treatment were put on the stand to defend their decisions.
- A few quotes stood out: “Supreme Court takes jurisprudence”, and; “Adrenal glands” (context was unclear).
- In a separate dream: A man explaining why they documented their mistakes in renovating a property, as a way to remember what was lost.
Went back to bed at 4:45am. Woke up at 7:30am and recalled this image:
- A family leaving a little girl behind at a park. It felt leaving Toby behind.
Contemplation & Connections
A trial is an interesting and unsurprising image. Shortly after Toby died, I had asked Emily whether it was worth pursuing legal action to figure out exactly what went wrong with Toby’s diagnosis and treatment. We ultimately decided not to. Toby’s Oncologist reviewed his file extensively and indicated that there was nothing we could have done differently. But that doesn’t change the fact that the medical system failed to save Toby’s life, and that we have become critical of medical recommendations. As “Q” says in the Picard season 2 teaser: “The trial never ends”.
One of the quotes that stood out during this sequence was something about how the (Canadian) Supreme Court takes jurisprudence. I have no idea what this means, whether it makes any sense, or how it could possibly be relevant to a trial regarding Toby’s diagnosis and treatment.
Another quote that I remember, during a dream transition, was “adrenal glands”. Again, I’m not sure what the context for this is.
Documenting mistakes in renovating a property as a way to remember what was lost was an interesting notion. I feel like it parallels a trial in a way: Accountability for decisions that were made, but also honouring what came before. I remember recently considering the history of architecture and places as a way of connecting to people we’ve lost. Documenting the history of these things also retains connections to people associated with them. Such as a playground removed from my city that we used to take Toby to.
I’m not sure what the significance of the girl in the park is. But it’s interesting that it felt like Toby. I can’t help but wonder if this relates to the idea of remembering the history of things, and the people connected to them — and specifically the recently demolished local park that we used to take Toby to. As though a new park doesn’t have the same connection to people. Different connections. Different people. I don’t know.