Goal: Why Toby and needles?
Context: After documenting a synchronicity about different instances of Toby getting needles, I want to try understanding this better.
During a pre-sleep guided meditation session, I experienced these 2 visions:
- Existing in Toby’s body while I was trying to make him comfortable during his palliative care.
- A close-up of a field of green unmanicured grass, with a single plant with reddish leaves.
Went to bed at about 12:00am.
I awoke at 5:20am to use the toilet. Upon waking up, recalled a dream of a fitness instructor pointing to the muscles on the back of the shoulders (trapezius). There was a word that was used: “receptacle”.
Went back to sleep at 5:30am, woke up at 6:30am. Upon waking up, recalled these dreams:
- Meeting Toby’s essence briefly in a shared non-corporeal space. I recall a very strong sense of feeling like this essence was telling me: “You found me!” It was euphoric.
- A table with 3 items: A book, a cup/bowl, and a third item that I could not identify or couldn’t recall. Each item became poisoned, with a metal skull forming on the top of each item after the poison was dropped onto them.
Contemplation & Connections
My vision of being inside Toby’s body, watching myself try to make him comfortable, reassured me that Toby was kept comfortable during his palliative care.
The field of unmanicured grass reminded me of a farm or naturalized area. I could not identify where this was. The plant might have been a wild rose, but I can’t be sure. Toby was recently given a natural burial, but I didn’t feel any particularly strong connections to this vision.
The dream of the fitness instructor pointing out muscles definitely resonated with strength, which makes sense. I think this has a direct connection with my dream goal of understanding the synchronicity of Toby screaming at needles. It was how he remained strong during an unpleasant moment, and overcame his discomfort.
The other interesting part of this dream was the word “receptacle” when pointing to the shoulder muscles. While it felt a little absurd to hear this word in a nonsensical context, it still felt meaningful. I’ve been having some chronic issues with my shoulder for the better part of a year.
Sometime before gatherings were really clamped down for COVID, I was at a family dinner. While there, I decided (unintelligently) to have a one-arm arm-wrestle with Sebastian and my nephew Alderic. I injured my shoulder for my trouble and it’s hurt ever since. I’m still trying to diagnose exactly what’s wrong. My most recent doctor’s visit suggested I get an MRI to screen for a rotator cuff injury or tendonitis.
When I did a search for “receptacle shoulder muscles”, the top results were for Thoracic Outlet Syndrome, a group of disorders that occur when blood vessels or nerves in the space between your collarbone and your first rib (thoracic outlet) are compressed. Symptoms of this condition can include pain or aches in your neck, shoulder or hand.
Another word for receptacle, in electrical terms, is outlet.
I don’t necessarily think I have Thoracic Outlet Syndrome. Indeed, I don’t recall ever hearing of it. But this connection reminds me that I probably shouldn’t be lazy about trying to get an MRI as soon as I can.
The dream of meeting Toby’s essence was certainly a welcome one. I felt a strong sense of euphoria when experiencing this dream, and it’s a sensation I’ve had before during powerful spiritual experiences years ago. At this point, I don’t know whether it’s simply a connection to an embodiment of my memories of Toby, or something more. Will explore this further.
The table with the 3 poisoned items was quite a dark dream. I felt like it was a caution, but I don’t know from what exactly. I don’t know whether the items mean anything in particular. I didn’t feel a connection to them.