Dream Goal
None
Meditation and Sleep
No meditation.
Dream
I found myself in a hospital setting. It felt a lot like Sick Kids. Toby had stopped breathing, much as he had done at home the night he died. But this was different. He started breathing again. More than that, he started breathing better than he had done leading up to the night he died. He had recovered enough in that moment that he was able to start undergoing further treatment.
It was at that moment, a moment where in my dream I felt as much sadness and joy as I did during the roller-coaster of Toby’s treatment, where I woke up. Woke up to my current life of — whatever this is. Numbness? Surrealism? The dream felt more real than this reality.
Contemplations and Connections
I remember from a conversation I’d had with Emily before going to bed where I remembered how Toby was so adamant about going home, he placed himself in his wheelchair –ready to go — in a moment of lucidity when he learned Emily was coming to pick him up. I’ve no doubt that this played a large role in my mind going back to this moment, wishing desperately that things had turned out differently.