Theme: Taking off a mask because it was drenched in tears from feeling so sad.
On or around November 17, 2020, Toby shared a bad dream that he had with me. He described having to take off a (medical) mask because it was drenched in tears from feeling so sad.
At the time I had thought about creating a graphic, or Photoshopped photo to help me explore and process what Toby must have been experiencing as he was just starting his Cancer treatment. I never had time to pursue this idea. Now, I'm not sure that I want to, as it's not how I want to remember him.
Within a few weeks of this dream, at an appointment for Toby at Sick Kids, we learned that Toby did not have any viable treatment options for his cancer. After receiving that news at the hospital, while heading downstairs to get a coffee, I suddenly had a panic attack. I had to pull down my mask to cry, as I was hyperventilating and it was soaked with tears.
I can’t help but wonder if, like me, Toby experienced synchronicities in dreams. I guess I’ll never know.